october intentions + life lately + questions i’ve been asking

I used to feel pressured to blog a few times per week, but lately I’ve been inspired to chat with you guys on Instagram stories and photos. It seems more genuine and it’s helped me get over my deeply rooted fear of public speaking (judgement) and fear of being totally, wholeheartedly myself. Of BEING. What a silly thing to be afraid of: myself! I’m always becoming more of who I really am + challenging my fears and BS ‘stories’.  Whenever I notice myself feeling self conscious, afraid or crazy about something, I re-write that part of my life script.

Admittedly, I’m feeling a little ‘lost’ in the Instagram world these days as everything appears to be  perfectly curated… meanwhile I’m over here shoveling shawarma into my face and talking with my mouth full about god knows what. I don’t know what to “do” on Instagram anymore, so I’m just winging it. Some days that includes soul chats and other times I enjoy taking ya’ll along on my adventures.

Alright, since my last post, from what I can recall, here’s what I’ve been up to + enjoying!

Journalling has become a daily habit of mine and something I truly look forward to. It’s a way to keep track of my desires (I prefer that over goals).  I write lists of things I’m grateful for – even if they haven’t physically manifested yet. I think and feel as though it’s already done and there’s something miraculous about putting my objects of attention and desires onto paper. Truly sealing the deal.

I actually brushed my hair and put makeup on – totally had to photo document. I drank two bottles of wine with a friend this night. My hair has gotten long, hey? I’m embracing the mermaid locks again.

So, what’s in my pipeline? A few things! As always, to keep elevating my career and creating new opportunities to add more meaning + purpose, financial abundance and writing about how exciting it will be to spend my extra $$$; (a house + ridiculously awesome vacays + travel, etc) What I want in a life partner + relationship: deep connection on every level: mind, body & spirit. How it will feel:  open, honest, like home, easy, knowing, expansion, joy, fun, love – all that good stuff. I think… actually, I know we waste  too much time focusing on the absence of what we don’t have, what we don’t want and being angry about dick picture sending losers on Tinder vs thinking about what we DO want + trusting it’s on the way.  We need to notice when we’re thinking about our desires from a space of abundance or lack, because THAT is the key to getting what we want.
Hi, Mom. Yes, guys think it’s cute to send pictures of their boy parts to us.


I completed my first Orangetheory Dri-Tri and had an absolute blast! After getting sick in Bermuda, I wasn’t able to push myself for a couple weeks. My body perceived my usual base pace as a push or all out. But hey! At least I didn’t have to run very fast while I was recovering from my illness. (I should add: I didn’t exercise when I was absolutely dying. I took 8 days off working out before returning to the gym)

OTF offers two Dri Tris per year and they include a 2000m row, 300 reps and a 5km run. Since everyone is competing for time, there are no breaks and you’re in the orange and red zones the entire time. Intense stuff right there!

Have you tried these Gut Shots by Farmhouse Culture? You know how we’re “supposed” to take apple cider vinegar shots? I CAN’T. I hate ACV so much. These taste like delicious salty pickle juice and it doesn’t burn like sour fire.

I WANT EVERYTHING FROM SAJE!  I’ve nearly gone through an entire bottle of ylang ylang essential oil within the past month. Before bed, I rub it into my back and feet and in the morning when I’m at the gym and sweating, I make the studio smell all nice and floral. 😀  It’s supposed to help with stress relief and relaxation.

OMG. I want this oil diffuser (it has two tanks and diffuses for 6 hours) along with the Relaxation collection. I feel like I can’t sleep soundly unless I’ve got Tranquility oil wafting towards me. When I was sick, I used their Immune blend and it helped clear my sinuses.

Potentially controversial topic that I’d love for you to weigh in on. After re-entering the single lady scene (lol! one day I’ll get this whole happily ever after thing down) I’ve been thinkin….

Do men know what it actually means to ‘be a man’ and embrace their masculinity?  What makes for a truly satisfying relationship between a man and woman? It’s a topic I’ve enjoyed discussing with a strong male friend of mine.
As a tenacious female, sometimes I sense men are attracted to my power, but then they  expect me to handle everything. To take on a more masculine role as the provider, protector, planner, ‘get shit done’, motivator and ‘the rock’. Perhaps it’s my fault because I so enjoy nurturing and loving people. Well guess what boys? Women don’t want to do the work for both partners. Yeah, we can take care of ourselves, but we don’t want to DO IT ALL. Ya feel?

I’m not saying women can’t or shouldn’t be breadwinners or just as successful and strong as their male counter parts. But sometimes men shrink themselves – they let women run the show, call all the shots, tell ’em how it is, don’t have a voice. When did men become so “meh” and apathetic? I’m also not talking about alphas vs. betas.

There is something delicious about the synergy between a man and woman. A magical feminine + masculine union. My male friend is of the opinion that our society has created weak males (ie. Tinder losers) without a strong sense of self (his words, not mine) who don’t know how to truly BE with or love a woman.

“Tell me, what are the qualities that make ‘a man’?” I asked. “A conscious man, such as yourself”

“It’s easy to generalize and I suppose with all the different people out there, it’s unavoidable” he began. “But when you really look around, what makes a man a man has never changed. There are four masculine virtues, four aspects of a man that he needs to seek excellence in. Being conscious of and striving for virtue in these areas, to me, is what makes a man.”
He went on to explain,

Strength: a man is strong. Not just physically, but he bears down in difficult times. He owns his demons and challenges. He is a rock for others around him, he can be depended on.

Courage: he isn’t guided by fear. In action, spirit and intention, he is guided by a courageous heart.

Mastery: He learns to do things and gains mastery over his world.  A man can do shit. It might be inane but what he does matters to him.

And, most importantly, honour. Honour is all those things that make other men respect him. This is important. It’s crucial that a man views himself in a masculine perspective and does not bend himself to fit a feminine one. Sorry folks, but it’s not okay for a man to be afraid of spiders. 😀

So tell me: what do you think? I’m not sure what to think about all of that. To me, those sound like qualities of a great human being and aren’t necessarily gender specific.

Are you into essential oils? Do you want everything from Saje too?

Tell me three things you’re loving lately!!

 

9 Replies to “october intentions + life lately + questions i’ve been asking

  1. I think those 4 things are what society thinks men have to be like. Just my opinion though, based on the relationships I have had with males and what I have seen them view themselves as needing to be like.

    I love essential oils, early this year I invested in a diffuser and a pack of oils from Saje. I love them! Still have a lot left. I didn’t turn it on too much this summer, but have been using it a ton as the weather cools down. I just got a 6 pack of different 100% essential oils at Marshall’s recently, for $25. I really like Saje but I wanted to save money when I bought more oils, and they are full size containers, where as my pack from Saje was mini versions.

    I’m loving: the cooler weather, my recent mountain trip, and focusing more on making time for myself and spending less time on other people’s needs.

    1. But do you think that’s because us women dictate the way men “should” be?

      Did you find Saje oils at Marhshalls!!?? Or another brand?

      1. Another brand called Woolzies is what I found at Marshall’s. so far they have been great. Currently using thieves blend to try and get rid of Lou’s cold. It seems to have helped shorten it.

        I don’t think it’s because of women, I think since a long time ago that men were thought of having to be a “real man” by all sexes. I read this amazing book called “I don’t want to talk about it” a few years ago, about men and depression and kinda similar to the idea of how men are brought up and told how to act. I was drawn to it because of Lou and his own struggle with mental well-being, and then our struggle because of it. Here is the link: https://www.amazon.ca/Dont-Want-Talk-About-Overcoming/dp/0684835398

  2. I don’t really know what to think about the ‘ideal’ masculine traits, because I don’t know if I would agree with a list of ‘ideal’ feminine traits. I think the ’embracing masculinity’ is key in that I find the most confident men who are comfortable with themselves are often the ones to rise to the occasion and be those strong and honorable males. This is such an interesting question… I really want to dig deeper into this!! As far as being a strong female – I completely feel you with needing a dude to match me at my level. Like you, I’ve had experiences where men are attracted to strong, confident, take-no-shit women and then it seems one of two things happens, either he realizes that having a strong women in his life is a big challenge to rise to and backs away (usually saying, she was a huge bitch or had a strong opinion about things… when really, she just had an opinion and wasn’t afraid to share it) or feels comfortable in taking over the feminine role in the relationship and wants her to be strong, plan, do, and lead the relationship. It’s frustrating. I HAVE SO MUCH TO SAY ABOUT THIS. :p

    Can we hang out and talk about this?? 😉

    1. Yes please! It’ll be the main topic on our next hike! My feeling (and experience with some males – not all) is that they like women who ‘have their shit together’ and think they don’t have to try? Men don’t need to dominate the relationship or lead it, but it should be 50/50!

  3. I love the idea of writing a list of things I’m grateful for that I’ve yet to manifest. I’m going to go and make one right now!

    I’m not sure if this is on-topic, but my issue is with men who are not emotionally intelligent and/or who lack self awareness. I’m holding out for someone who knows who he is, what he wants, and is able to express that… using words. I think you’re right, a lot of guys are into women who, for the most part, have things figured out and as a result they think that they can coast. And men who “coast” are not attractive in any way, shape or form!

    Also, I’m currently on a man break and thoroughly enjoying it. 🙂

    1. Oh yes, emotional intelligence and self awareness. I think the two go hand in hand, don’t you?
      It’s annoying that we’ve created a culture where men (and women!) feel like they can’t express themselves without fear of being judged, humiliated, etc. Everyone’s afraid to say too much, feel too much and then we wonder why we never experience deeply satisfying relationships & connection.

  4. I think those points brought up by your friend are great. I can see those as being marks of masculinity. They could also be a marks of a great woman as you said, perhaps interpreted slightly differently. I tend to think that many women have a more naturally feminine energy… more intuitive, soft, giving. So I do think there’s an innate difference between male and female energy. Sometimes I think in this day and age, gender fluidity, etc, some people believe that isn’t so.. and the roles within a male/female or yin/yang relationship get mixed up. A very strong female personality is going to have a hard time meshing with a strong headed male personality. It’s kind of a clash! I think a strong, more traditionally masculine type female is going to only mesh with a softer male personality.. but that’s not usually what the woman wants. I think that softer, more yielding female personality is what meshes with a very ‘masculine’ male. Just because a woman is soft on the outside looking in, she probably has a strong influence on that man 😉 Interesting topic!

  5. It’s a great topic indeed and a good conversation. The only thing missing is a male perspective. And I think that’s key.

    What makes a man a man is more often than not judged by women… and that’s where it kind of goes sideways. Honour, an ancient but somewhat lost concept is, quite simply, about a man’s relationship with other men. His father, his sons, his friends and his rivals. Yes, these roles can also be played by women, but often they are not. Men don’t talk about this anymore and we have stopped valuing it like maybe we should.

    How many men that aren’t able to maintain a relationship with a strong woman are able to maintain honourable relationships with other strong men? How many completely accept their role in the creation of their own story? How many seek a strong partner because they know no other energy? I think you start there and you are on to something…

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