Why slowing down speeds things up

I used to be incredibly resistant to the concept of slowing down, relaxing and allowing myself to be still with my thoughts and emotions. I believed journaling and meditation was for sissies who lacked motivation to get shit done. “Why do we gotta sit around thinking and writing about it? Let’s just do it!” I’d say.

I had a dominant “lets make it happen” attitude. Pushing, pulling, trying to force great momentum in my life. This is a real problem in our society. We’re obsessed with the idea that busy-ness= success and making time for ourselves is selfish.

We’ve become addicted to ‘doing’: creating goals, to-do lists, writing action plans on how to achieve said goals but so many of us are stuck. We spin our tires, never really getting anywhere.  I’m going to explain why slowing down and taking ‘inspired action’ from within can get  us from point a to point b so quickly it will make your head spin.

Inspired action is knowing what to do – it feels easy, comfortable, right.  Action is thinking we “have” to do something.

One of the biggest desires we all seem to share (and what my friends often to come to me for advice on!) is developing a nurturing, loving, fulfilling relationship. How many times have we said we want great love, then immediately jump onto a dating app to “make it happen” without taking the time to get clear on:

What qualities we’d like to experience in a relationship and being honest with ourselves if we embody those same qualities as a partner

What that ideal relationship will feel like when it manifests (think, write and talk about it as you want it to be – because then it feels as though it’s already done. And when you know it’s done, it comes)

Are we in a good space for a relationship? Are we truly able to receive what we’re asking for? What’s the true intention behind it? Do you feel the difference between “I love the feeling of connection, sharing this life experience with someone where we can grow together” vs “I’m lonely and afraid I’m going to be alone forever”?  There’s a big difference.

We have to focus on the positive qualities (and only those!) within ourselves and a partner so  we consciously and deliberatly attract that type of person. I’ve noticed this trend where we describe our ‘perfect partner’ using descriptions of how we DON’T want them to be. “I don’t want them to be non-committal or confused about what they want, distant, I don’t want them to be emotionally unavailable, I don’t want them to have this or that…”

Then the universe is like, “I feel what you’re putting out there – so here you go! Here’s an emotionally unavailable, non-committal, confused person”. The universe doesn’t know or care if what we’re saying is true or not. It only  responds to the emotional frequency we’re tuned into.

Let me present it to you using a silly analogy. You know how Spotify chooses songs and artists it thinks we’ll enjoy based on what we’ve been listening to? It does a pretty great job, if I do say so myself.
Do you ever log into Spotify  and intentionally listen to a bunch of music you don’t enjoy? I sure don’t. Why would we do that? It’s only going to populate more music suggestions that we don’t actually want. Doesn’t it make way more sense to BE selective in choosing playlists and artists we enjoy and in return, we’ll get more of it?

The universe works exactly like that. It doesn’t care what we want, nor does it know “whats best for us”. It doesn’t reward people for ‘good behavior’.  It’s only responding to what we put out there in terms of thoughts, beliefs and most notably, our emotional state. My friend and I were talking about how Donald Trump is a fantastic example of the law of attraction. The guy is a real piece of work, but he gets what he wants (and is presently the most powerful man in the world!) because he honestly believes what he says and doesn’t give a flying f**k what anyone thinks. I’m not saying it’s “right” or “wrong”; or I agree with anything he says or does; it just IS. It’s law.

Do you remember my friend David? I went for a Thanksgiving hike with him + his gf!

We need to make time to chill out, be quiet, reflect, write and meditate.

Now that we’re clear on what we want, our hearts – inner being – instinct – intuition – whatever you want to call it knows the path of least resistance.  This is why being still + gentle with ourselves helps us tap into where it’s trying to guide us. The inspiration to ‘take action’ comes when we’re in  receiving mode, rather than a controlling action & results focused mindset. Inspired action feels and looks like:  being somewhere in the ‘right place at the right time’; suddenly having ‘the answer’ come to you; being able to recognize when something is ‘right’ for you; deep knowing, feeling compelled to pick up a book and reading something that shifts your perception or takes you to a deeper level of understanding; truth, turning on the radio and hearing song lyrics that deeply resonate.  Seemingly small encounters that we often write off as coincidence.

The magic formula is simple.

1. Get clear on what you want + why
2. Practice being in receptive – appreciative – receiving mode daily. Meditation, writing gratitude lists of things we’re grateful for now + what’s coming and spending time in nature. Those are my top three self-soothers and re-aligners. I mentioned this in an Instagram post, but this part isn’t a suggestion, it’s a necessity.
3. Pay attention to when your thoughts give you a positive emotional response: butterflies/excitement/joy/curiosity and focus intently on it. Even if it’s as something as simple as a really good meal or a great night’s sleep. Consciously and consistently seek out good-feeling thoughts.

I’m still thinking about this amazing buttery & cheesy-egg-raspberry bagel from last weekend

4. Practice this daily and watch how quickly things come to you! It rushes in, without trying, without forcing, without the STRUGGLE. Things just click when you approach life from a place of inspired action (knowing what to do) rather than reactionary action (thinking you have to do something).

Treat yourself to a journal & some nice pens that write well!

I’d like to add that running/exercise isn’t meditation. I used to think it was because it calmed me down and allowed me to be present, but that’s still very much a ‘doing’ activity. Engaging in physical activity for enjoyment definitely helps us get into and stay in alignment (because it’s fun and joyful!) but we actually have to sit still to reap  the full benefits of meditation. Sorry. I don’t like it either, but that’s just the way it is! 🙂

I have a question for you. What kinds of topics would you like me to discuss? I have an ever-expanding of list of ideas, but I want to hear from you!

<3 jo

2 Replies to “Why slowing down speeds things up

  1. I think that this all comes back to being mindful. When we practice being mindful, life slows down, but then it speeds up because we engage and stop focusing on the passage of time and wanting it to get on with it.

  2. I used to be terrible at slowing down too – we miss so much when we don’t take the time to listen, reflect, write, meditate etc. And even now I’m not always good at it. It ebbs and flows for me. I find that thoughts or ideas will pop into my head when I don’t have time to think about them so I try to jot them down somewhere… almost like a “to ponder later” list. Potential topics: letting go/acceptance and how to deal with negative energy (when you have to be around someone negative i.e. at work).

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