weekend fun + intuition

The last few days have been relaxing, low-key and exactly what I needed. Last weekend I was sipping wine on  National’s patio, whereas this weekend I cocooned myself in a nest of cozy blankets to escape the brisk winter chill.  So much for easing into winter!

Normally I take an Orangetheory class on Friday night, but I wasn’t feeling it so I grabbed City Market sushi on the way home and spent the evening eating + soaking in the tub.

By 10pm, I was dozing off while reading Fitness Junkie, so I called it a night.  I woke up feeling refreshed and energized for Saturday’s OTF workout. We did an ESP (endurance-strength-power) template that didn’t *seem* overly hard during, but oh man, my abs, hamstrings and butt were sore the next day. Who woulda thought using a dolly for hamstring curls, pikes and ab rollouts would sneak up on me like that!

After my workout, I crawled back into bed to read and nap the afternoon away. I’ve been using this Moon Cycle oil to alleviate PMS symptoms -it’s great for cramps and achy backs. Oh, and I finally started season two of This Is Us!  Are you watching it? I feel like the show is equally cheesy and cute, but I’ve already invested so much time to watching the first season that I can’t quit now.

SO MUCH REST. I didn’t get out of bed until 10am on Sunday morning and I was back at it for another OTF session followed by boxing at Rumble. I love their 4pm Sunday class as it’s focused solely on hitting instead of a full body workout. They’re opening a new studio in the NW area of the city soon and I’m thrilled that I’ll be able to incorporate weekday classes into my fitness routine! Mom: for Christmas, I would like a 10-20 class pass for their studio 😉  I’ve been dying to take their Thursday night ‘heavy hitting’ class where the music is so loud and bassy the ground shakes. Good times.

Have you ever taken a boxing class? It’s THE BEST. Probably the most ‘fitness fun’ I’ve experienced in a studio and I always feel incredibly energized and bad ass after.

Moving along to some deeper #lifechat stuff.

As the seasons change, I have noticed myself becoming more introspective.  Most of the time, I feel like I have a pretty good idea of where I’m going, what I’m doing, what I want… but occasionally self doubt and fear pops up and I find myself questioning if I’m “actually” on track. Does that make sense?

Over a mug of frothy matcha + cordyceps + collagen (ps. I love this Edmonton brand Herbologie for botanical supplements) I began thinking about about instincts and how to trust ’em. It’s not always about physical sensations – like goosebumps, butterflies or stomachaches. More often than not, intuition reveals itself as inspiration to DO (or not do) something.

“go there!” “read that book!” “make plans with that friend!” “rest” “move your body” “get out of there!” “listen to that song” “book that trip!”

All kinds of subtle, amazing things that we see more and more evidence of when we allow our instincts to guide us to the next moment. And the next one, and the next one, and the next one…

It’s always moment to moment.

Sometimes I feel disappointed with myself when I create something I don’t want after all. ‘Did I make a mistake or was I ignoring my gut?’ I wonder.

WHAT IF… we’re curiously exploring different paths and acquiring more life experience to gain a better understanding of what we want?  At times, intuition may guide us to unfavorable experiences to help us deepen our knowledge and fine tune our desires. This tends to happen when we’re not certain about the direction we want life to take.  When we set an intention to purchase a new car, we don’t buy the first one we see. We take a few makes and models for a test drive first. Sometimes a car we thought would be great ends up being just okay.  We don’t get mad at ourselves for not liking the Honda and buying a Toyota instead.

One of the ways this has shown up in my life is with my last relationship. I thought my life was moving towards what I wanted (great love, marriage, family) until it wasn’t. It kinda left me like, “Wtf? Where did I go wrong? Why didn’t I know then what I know now? Did I waste too much time? Why am I such an idiot? Did I make a mistake? I’m old – is it too late for me?! OH GOD I’m dying” Those thoughts create all kinds of crazy irrational fears and anxiety.

When I re-frame my mindset and stop being so hard on myself, it feels better. At the end of the day, desires are born out of contrast.  The point of this wonderful life experience is creation, not perfectionism.

I’m sharing this story because, even though I’m confident I have a good head on my shoulders, I still get fearful sometimes. I’m human. I’m learning, evolving, expanding.  I won’t ever have my shit entirely together and I think that’s a good thing…. because, what would I talk and write about?! When we’re not learning, we stop thriving. What do you think?

Tell me:

What’s one of your greatest life lessons?

2 Replies to “weekend fun + intuition

  1. I think you hit the nail on the head. Life would be super boring if we had it all together. Anyone who says they have all their shit together needs to get their shit together. Prior to this year I wouldn’t allow myself happiness. In fact, I think I subconsciously sabotaged my own happiness because I didn’t think I deserved it. I figured I had done shitty things and I was too old to try again and this is just what life has for me and blah blah. But when we allow ourselves to make mistakes and LEARN from them, the future isn’t so bleak. Self forgiveness, I think, is as important to self care as our diet, exercise and sleep. I’m sorry for not doing what I should have when I should have done it. But I’m done shoulding on myself. So that’s my greatest life lesson so far. Stop shoulding on myself and forgive myself. Chances are no one else gives a fuck anyway.

  2. I’ve stopped asking permission (that is a lie, I still ask permission). But less so. Stopped asking permission to do what is best for me. And I’m getting rid of a lot of the people that I used to follow because you know what? I DON”T ALWAYS NEED TO SEE YOUR ABS

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